Ok, so this dude: Ill bet if LW gets pregnant, this guy is gone just about instantly. Its that men should have as much of a say in whether they want to opt into support as do women. I think we need to take a poll. Continuing along the lines of what John Rohan said above (maybe way above, because Im at work and my reply will take some time to type surreptitiously): The LW and the guy broke up. Parasites are all the same. It was a vague post on my part Made even more confusing by the fact that _jsw_ was posting at roughly the same time and then his posted first. Thanks for the clarification. But again the adoption makes that all moot. Unless Im sure the guy will make it worth my while, Im not going to do it. Even if she was lying about being on birth control. The idea that he actually said I would prefer if you had an abortion is laughable. Or perhaps youre a world-wise know-it-all 19 year old who heard everything you regurgitate here from your Womens Studies professor bitter after falling for the same sure I love you baby slickster line you mentioned above. Thats true, but by the same token, wait a bit (a few days or at least a full conversation) to see if you can get along with someone on a basic level before jumping into bed with them. SpaceySteph If the guy just walked away and contributed nothing, then that would be exactly akin to most adoptions, which, essentially, just mean letting someone else take care of your child. April 9, 2012, 12:31 pm. If you want something different, you must do something different. Everyone was always on the pill, or the condom broke and plan b didnt work, or things like that. And honestly, if my boyfriend told me he wants nothing to do with his own child. Sue Jones Youre wrong. Perhaps youd like to refute them instead of going the easy route and calling him a troll simply because he disagrees with you. To everyone. Hes furious with the woman for keeping the child. You said it better, but I jumped back in before seeing your replies. Privacy Policy. That a woman has a right to choose if she carries a child to term or not should nor mean that she has a right to choose how a man spends his money for the next 18 years. I know youve been in a tough situation and the fact that you and your daughter came out of it the amazingly awesome people you are shows that all a kid needs is an amazing mother who wants to provide for her kid at whatever cost to herself. I mean for fuck sake? Lots of it. Let this be a learning lesson for everyone male and female. Now, I suppose, you could argue that my gay friends are more careful because death is probably a bigger inconvenience that a child you dont want and most likely wont really give a flying fuck about anyway But no, seriously Apparently many straight people are just too dumb to use a condom correctly. No loss there. Only men-children would not use a condom in this situation. Oh boy. Nope, none of it matters. Why you waste any time belly aching about how unfair it is, is beyond me. But everyday it breaks my heart knowing I'm not going to be the top priority. Whether that be by having the child, supporting the child, adoption, abortion, whatever. P.S. Hes scum, no one in their right mind is going to want to stay with him. Consider that this is the kind of guy that has casual sex with people he doesnt really know/like while on break from a relationship with someone he cant live without. And if you arent ready for a child, then use a goddamn condom.. That my life revolves around this so called love of mine?? Its more than I can handle on a Monday! He can be one he better be one- and still be a loyal partner to you. Actually no. Im a guy, and I think that the BF is a loser scum bag. A scumbag? Shed be less of a real woman if she left the kid on its fathers doorstep and went off footloose and fancy-free while he was left to raise it all alone. The family structure is dynamic and without balance, falls apart. And aborting a pregnancy is also something that is a very difficult thing for many women. Personally, it doesnt sound like shes trying to trap your untrappable boyfriend into a relationship YOU are trying to trap him, or get rid of him, by telling him he should stay with her because its his kid (and then you go around calling her (the mother of your BFs child) scoat and such very classy)! The vast majority of parents who have at least a rough acknowledgement of their paternity/maternity have joint custody even if the guys a deadbeat. Have you noticed how people sometimes own up to having unprotected sex, but its always when they didnt get pregnant? Hi. OK, this is going to be longer than it should, but I have reactions to several things. Hes a scumbag and your only choices are (1) say so now and be rid of him, or (2) wait 5 or 10 years and say Why didnt I see this 5 or 10 years ago? By then you may be after him for child support yourself, and good luck with that therell be at least one in line ahead of you every payday. Were also stuck with either A) experiencing an abortion or B) going through a pregnancy. Miranda Lambert's new cop hubby lived a 'secret life' - Page Six I mean, I know guys are suppose to stick up for guys, but come on.. Im really astounded that you would say something so flippant like women can get support for 20+ years, as if its nothing! [The most dangerous place on Earth to live is in an American womans womb. I feel in a way he is essentially giving the child up for adoptionto the mother who wants the child. Lucky us. It takes two people to make a baby and two people to decide what to do after one of them gets pregnant. bittergaymark What Your Breakup Will Tell You About Your Ex-Girlfriend - Luvze Heres a thought experiment for you: Dont choose to roll those dice if you cant cope with all of the possible outcomes. Whether those parents planned it or not they need to be there for that kid and not just dump it becuase you feel like it. Because last I checked, saying dramatic things like we cant bear to live without each other was reserved for 16-year-old fans of poorly-written vampire romances. 2.6K views, 5 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 44 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Wildheart: **Miracle Baby Or Mistaken Baby- Man Denies Having Baby With Wife (Full Episode) - Paternity Court **. Add your answer to this question! Especially if you think the laws are unfair, I think youd be particularly cautious in your actions. SweetsAndBeats Its not that bad (though Ill take an IUDs 0.6%, thanks). Id confirm that hes actually the father. And fools are welcome to the horror you and your ilk inflict upon them. Honestly, why would you want to put yourself in a permanent relationship who a) has encouraged his baby mommy to abort the child for the sake of convenience and 2) who has sex with people he cannot stand? Makes me wonder if youre happily married like I am, or just a bitter divorcee who clings to feminism and man-hating as a knee jerk reaction of having been wronged. Hes probably the worlds most prolific internet commenter. hamster van beethoven He apologized for not telling me sooner. Males who have been RAPED still have to pay child support. Your welcome. The fact that all this happened doesnt mean hes some despicable jackass. Not good enough. Oh, really? April 10, 2012, 5:06 am, Still, itd be nice if so many women werent so often so shamelessly dishonest about this, wouldnt it? April 9, 2012, 10:00 pm, No, I actually think that of us effectively use condoms Most of the dumb idiots I know that knocked girls up all thought they were safe because they were told all was well, Im on the pill PS. And guess whatthe potential consequences came to life, quite literally for him. I have a friend in somewhat related situation. If hes such an awful scumbag, why would you want to force him to be a father. Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. People are calling the LW scum because hes willing to abandon a child he helped create. Okay so what if the LW is not pro choice. April 10, 2012, 6:23 pm, P.S. Youre right, what your life has become isnt fair- to anyone involved. Scenario 2. & he tells me now, the mother agreed to take the child & look after the child, & he will leave the baby mama for me, because he loves me. Yes, its shitty. female Im not saying this guy is wonderful by any means. he delivers the baby from the nursery to your house. Why? Whether this guy decides to be a part of this childs life or not is up to his conscience. And lo and behold, thats exactly what youve gotten. April 10, 2012, 6:32 pm. Fuck yes, he shouldnt have a choice in that. Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? This guy, you can most definitely live without. Oh, me too! That is how we got our first kid. April 9, 2012, 4:39 pm. But, the real reason you can't let go is because you feel bad that you've invested 4 years into this relationship hoping it would lead to something, and all you got is heartbreak, and him getting another woman pregnant. Hey, say what you want about the letter but dont diss my Twilight!!! I think she is just trying to trap my man, who is untrappable. Government will go after him for either Medical Support and/or Child Support. In the future, if I should ever have the desire to date again I would use condoms in addition to birth control to make sure I dont get diseases. People in healthy relationships dont say that. Imagine the following scenarios. I agree with the magically thing. Does that change your opinion? Until thats legally extended as you propose any man who doesnt exercise that option has no one to blame but himself when he becomes a parent. The law does, because once the child is here, through no fault of its own, it needs to be supported in order to have a successful life and successful children are in the best interest of all of society. April 9, 2012, 9:58 am. Honestly, I see unfairness in the current system too, but I dont see how you could look out for the best interests of children while simultaneously making everything 100% fair for both mother and father. When all of our comments are just reiterations of the same sentiment it can get boring. His response to my comment was all dont tell me what to do with my body. People are calling him scum because hes a guy who doesnt want to become a father to that womans child. In most cases with my clients, the girl is wanting the guy back but the guy is the one who pulled away. And if your original point was that gay men are smart enough to use condoms but that heterosexual couples seem too dumb to do so, that 1M number implies youre wrong. Men should be held at least halfway responsible for the resulting pregnancy and child but should have no authority to decide upon his involvement. Pardon me, butare you fucking KIDDING me?! just my opinion. You are certainly not the first person in this situation, and its worked out well for others, so you relationship may not be *doomed*, but it will be certainly complicated. Stay with someone he dislikes because she became pregnant? Anyway, people are calling him scum for having unprotected sex with a woman he was dating. Likewise, you could find a wealth of men who paid for children who werent theirs. She has no right to be angry at this other woman, and doesnt know what her motives are. April 10, 2012, 7:06 pm. Instead of re-commenting this in the 23 different places above where it applies, Ill say it here (again): Why is everyone assuming he didnt use a condom? When I hit the ground, I jumped up, pulled the safety clip off the release assembly and slapped it. Sometimes the reasons are clear, such as frequent arguments, lack of interest, and abuse. He begged me not to go, but I left anyway because I didnt think things would change and I wanted him to see what life was like without me in hopes hed run after me. Steve Kellmeyer Let him deal with the consequences of his own actions without relying on you to rescue him. silver_dragon_girl Top 49 Girlfriend Jokes 1. I brought my girlfriend home and introduced Who the hell else is clicking that button??! Some of the best advice my mom ever gave me way back in the day was Listen. I am not entirely sure how this applies when the kids are not the product of both people, but when it is mom, dad, junior and junette junior and junette do not always come first, always. And WHY did he not practice safe sex since he only knew her 2 minutes? Hes scum for directing his fury at anyone other than himself. Really, people. You seem upset at biology that women are the ones that carry the children and and therefore has the ability to decide or not to continue on with a pregnancy whereas a guy doesnt have that same right. Wow, that was a super bitchy thing to say. And, like an immature asshole, he decides he doesnt want to own up to his responsibility. You are feeling particularly aggressive or bold. You really have no idea what child support means. List of Everybody Hates Chris characters - Wikipedia -Is furious with her for keeping her baby Youre fucking advocating that brilliantly fool-proof method?! i am currently in an awful situation. April 9, 2012, 8:26 pm. Oh, and im missing the misogyny in that child support comment. I simply had to chime in here as this is what I do for a living and so many people are sadly misinformed. He said theres only a chance. It's been really painful for me. I really only mean exactly what I said. Thats why I kind of went to the extreme with the whole Threw some money thing. The manner to which they have become accustomed is a reference to alimony, not child support. As for the whole mans right to not be a parent to a child thing, I agree with _jsw_. But you know what? Its been done and will continue to be done, as long as accidents, divorce, and death happen. Its frustrating, but until then, there simply isnt much she can do. And as so many others have said dontt want a kid? This guy sounds like scum. If he cant afford the child support, get away from him as he will be an emotional and financial drain. You two seems very good at twisting everyones words, and then getting mad at those people for it. Tough shit. Both sexes suffer from inequalities in the reproductive process due to biology. It doesnt sound like shes ready or willing to deal with him having fathered a child, especially if he changes his mind and wants to be a part of its life.

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